The rather random clicking habits of the average user or sabotage of my new click tracking gadget?

ClickHeat is an interesting open source script that can be used to track users clicks on your website. I thought I would stick it on since it gives a slightly more detailed view than Google Analytics and would be interesting to compare to more costly products such as Omniture and its ClickMap feature.
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There is often only praise for Apple’s products. I have a MacBook Pro, an iPhone, a Time Capsule and an Airport Express (APX) and am mostly sold on their benefits over the alternatives. This is fine, since in all cases I have generally paid more than the alternatives and so expect a better experience, but when things do not work it is far more annoying.

The APX is designed to stream music from iTunes over a wireless or wired network to a stereo, thus avoiding the need for unnecessary wires coming out of the Mac. It just doesn’t seem to work though. Connecting to it is slow and in some cases impossible. Songs cut out or deteriorate in quality and often stop streaming in between songs.
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Everything is impossible until someone does it

So your blog is ticking along nicely at 2-3 visitors each day. People don’t stay long. Many have got there by mistake through mistyping the URL, some are not even human and read the content you slaved over purely as a means of helping others consider not reading it when it appears in search results. This is a common complaint and surely the reason behind why many bloggers pack up and go home after a short time, leaving poorly thought through crusts at the arse-end of the internet.
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Shrine to signal strength

I can never get a decent signal on my mobile, well not enough to download email or view webpages quickly. Perhaps I am too impatient, easily irritated or just unlucky? I have decided none of these apply, since 3G is one of the most ridiculous marketing ploys since the inception of pyramid selling schemes and the ability to charge £3 for a ringtone.
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Status reports are a necessary evil these days. I accept this and produce them as thorougly, concisely and candidly as I can. This does not mean of course that I like this task. It may well be one of the worst of the week.

Last week I had every status reporters worst nightmare, a blank template to fill. This is bad on a number of counts. Firstly last weeks items are not there to jog your memory and remind you of such banalities as a verb at the beginning of each sentence, the date format and the things actually promised the proceeding week. Secondly, what to write? The blank page of doom is troublesome in any profession, but in this act of aimless literature it is twice as tricky because there are so many variables to consider.

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At work, in their attempts to build communities between otherwise very separate business units, they send out “Faces of…” emails. These consist of short biographies and work histories of the person to somehow bring them to life a bit. There are always a few semi-amusing anecdotes and the line “I love travelling” plus at least one grinning alcohol induced picture.

I think it is a great idea and one that should take place more. At the very least it gives someone with the least creative job ever a chance to express themselves in an alternative and interesting way. It does pose it’s risks though.

People with unnecessary taglines below their email signatures may see an opportunity to extend the dreadful paragraph beyond what anyone could tolerate. Equally those who havnt been traveling, never go anywhere or never take any pictures are left with a tricky dilema.

My humble obiturary, originally uploaded by Tim Tim Tim.

I have written a couple of these. One was done in the style of an obiturary. The slightly subversive format seemed to perfectly mirror the requirements albeit with a few references to everything in the 3rd person. I really hope I can think of another format like this. The only other time you get little reviews of peoples lives is on the back cover of a book. Just need to work out what kind of a book I might write.

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