Shrine to signal strength

I can never get a decent signal on my mobile, well not enough to download email or view webpages quickly. Perhaps I am too impatient, easily irritated or just unlucky? I have decided none of these apply, since 3G is one of the most ridiculous marketing ploys since the inception of pyramid selling schemes and the ability to charge £3 for a ringtone.

For years we have been promised broadband speeds and a whole host of other services while at the same time devices have got more and more advanced. But why doesn’t anyone ever mention the fact that these little magic machines are next to useless without a decent network. The usual excuse is that things improve when you are at a wifi hotspot. They don’t. Mainly because the very concept of needing to be somewhere inparticular defeats the whole concept of mobile technology.

I would understand patchy performance while in the middle of nowhere but even Willesden Junction doesn’t fall into this category. Yes, even in the grimmest and probably most industrial area of London, they can’t find room for an aerial or two pumping out mobile phone waves or whatever they give out. At the very least the networks should be bolstering their services in London and other large cities. People won’t care about massive aerials and unhealthy levels of radio traffic. We are all more likely to be raped and murdered than feel a bit itchy due to excess data spectrum.

3G Broadband for the home is another aspect of the problem, where for a fairly low fee people can use their laptops over the mobile network. This too is a dreadful experience and is the Internet equivilent of buying your computer in a supermarket or surfing the web using your TV and some cartoon keyboard designed by morons. People who have this actualy think it is good?

I am fairly sure 3G doesn’t actually exist. It appears to download things faster but it’s all an optical illusion, a 3G placebo affect if you will. In the future this will get worse, as claims get bolder and bolder, the networks will have to make these mind-altering airwaves all the more potent. Children will die and run around in circles aimlessly, and household pets will crumble into a furry mess.

The idea of all information at your fingertips is a fantastic one and has so far fooled many people. I think it’s gone too far now. On starting this article I thought that no one else had seemed to notice this elephant in the room problem, but even the New York Times seems to agree that the mobile networks are about as old as their typeface. So now this is saved I might as well save and post this. But no. My signal cut out half way through the publish and all I get is… “invalid post id”. Is that it? Is that all 3G can muster?